Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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