ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
