Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he shaved USA in his pubs
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
