i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
