Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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