You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
