It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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