i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
