There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
