11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His nipple licking is glorious
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