Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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