The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
