The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
