this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
