just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can Purell be used as lube?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
