everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
