...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bring me that man meat
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
