I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
