i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
