he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
