Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
