you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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