Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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