he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
