That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
