Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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