dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
