I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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