She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
