ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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