No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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