got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
being pregnant is like rehab
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
