So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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