i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
