Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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