I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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