we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's always time for handjobs
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
