Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
