Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
