so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
