you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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