My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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