You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
