I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
