i don't plan on having that self control this summer
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
