Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize