I wish I could teleport
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize