i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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