I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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