ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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