i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
