we made out on top of his cat.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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