I am puke
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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