big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
