Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
